Walking on Eggshells: How to Set Intellectual Boundaries and Breathe Through Political Tension

Lately, conversations with family, friends, and even coworkers have felt… tense. The weight of political news, social issues, and personal beliefs creates an undercurrent of stress that many of us carry into our relationships. For some, it feels like we’re constantly walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics to keep the peace. For others, the urge to correct, educate, or convince feels overwhelming.

But at what cost?

In times of political and social division, it’s easy to lose sight of something crucial—our mental well-being. Regardless of political affiliations or beliefs, we all have an individual responsibility: to protect our mental health, set boundaries that foster respect, and create space where meaningful conversations can happen without harm.

The Mental Health Toll of Political Division

Political tension isn’t just uncomfortable—it takes a real toll on our mental and emotional health. Studies show that ongoing exposure to political stress can lead to:

• Increased Anxiety – Constantly engaging in political discourse (or dreading it) can activate the body's stress response, making people feel constantly on edge.

• Emotional Exhaustion – Political debates, doomscrolling, and heated arguments can drain our emotional energy, leading to burnout.

• Depression & Hopelessness – Feeling unheard, misunderstood, or powerless in the face of political challenges can contribute to feelings of despair and helplessness.

• Social Withdrawal – Many people isolate themselves from family, friends, and even their communities to avoid conflict, which can lead to loneliness and disconnection.

• Increased Irritability & Stress-Induced Conflict – Holding onto unprocessed frustration can lead to snapping at loved ones or feeling agitated in daily interactions.

Unchecked, these effects ripple out into our communities. When we are collectively overwhelmed, negativity and division spread like wildfire.

Te Fiti’s Story: A Mental Health Metaphor for Losing and Reclaiming Ourselves

A powerful metaphor for this tension can be found in the transformation of Te Fiti in Moana.

In the film, Te Fiti starts as a life-giving goddess, nurturing the world around her. But when her heart is stolen, she transforms into Te Kā, a raging, destructive lava monster. Without her heart—her core essence and peace—she loses herself completely. Her once beautiful and vibrant energy is overtaken by anger, pain, and chaos. She lashes out, burning everything in her path, unable to recognize herself or remember her true identity.

Does that sound familiar?

How many of us have felt like we’ve lost ourselves in anger, fear, or frustration? How many of us have let political division and social stress shift our identity—turning us into someone we no longer recognize?

Many of us have been there. Whether it’s doomscrolling for hours, arguing with strangers online, or feeling emotionally depleted by the constant heaviness of the world, we know what it’s like to feel consumed by the weight of it all.

But what happens when we stop, breathe, and remember who we truly are?

In Moana, the heroine doesn’t battle Te Kā. Instead, she bravely walks toward her, holding up Te Fiti’s heart and saying:

“They have stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you. This is not who you are.”

In that moment, Moana reminds Te Kā of the truth—that beneath the rage, the destruction, and the pain, she is still Te Fiti.

She hasn’t been destroyed. She hasn’t been lost forever. She just needs to remember who she is.

This moment mirrors the mental health struggles many of us face when we are overwhelmed by political division, stress, and emotional exhaustion. Like Te Fiti, we may feel unrecognizable, detached from our values and well-being. But we are not defined by our stress, our frustration, or our past reactions. Healing happens when we pause, reflect, and reconnect with our core selves.

The Power of Intellectual Boundaries for Mental Well-Being

Just like Te Fiti needed her heart returned to reclaim her true self, we need intellectual boundaries to protect our mental health in tense environments. Boundaries aren’t about shutting down conversation. They’re about preserving our well-being and creating space for healthy, productive interactions instead of stress-inducing ones.

Signs of Weak Intellectual Boundaries:

• Feeling pressured to change your views to fit in

• Engaging in heated debates that leave you emotionally drained

• Avoiding conversations altogether, even when you want to engage

• Taking others' differing opinions as personal attacks

• Overexposing yourself to triggering or stressful news content

Signs of Healthy Intellectual Boundaries:

• Feeling confident in your beliefs without needing external validation

• Knowing when to disengage from an unproductive conversation

• Being able to listen without feeling personally threatened

• Recognizing that people’s perspectives are shaped by their own experiences

• Setting limits on how much time you spend consuming stressful political content

Like Te Fiti, when we let our pain go unchecked, we risk losing ourselves in it. But when we set intellectual boundaries—when we take a step back to breathe, to reflect, to remember who we truly are—we reclaim our peace.

Pause. Breathe. Reconnect.

Before diving into another debate or avoiding a family member because of political differences, take a moment to reset:

1. Pause – Recognize when a conversation is triggering you. Ask yourself: Is this discussion serving my well-being, or is it draining me?

   
   

2. Breathe – Engage in deep breathing to regulate your emotions before responding. A few intentional breaths can shift you from reactionary to reflective.

   
   

3. Reconnect – Ground yourself in your core values. Beyond political ideologies, what do you believe about respect, love, and dignity? Lead with that.

   

   
   

Just like Moana reminded Te Fiti of who she was, we must remind ourselves:

This is not who I am. I am not just my anger. I am not just my fear. I am more than this moment.

Call to Action: Extending Grace and Remembering Our Shared Humanity

Our country feels fractured, but beneath the division, we all strive for the same things: love, family, happiness, peace, and joy.

Let’s give each other grace under stress. Let’s choose empathy over hostility, not because we have to agree, but because our shared humanity is greater than our differences.

We are not defined by the worst moments of political division. We are defined by how we show up for ourselves and each other.

As you move through difficult conversations, ask yourself:

• Am I acting in alignment with my core values, or have I lost myself in the tension?

• Am I choosing connection over conflict where it matters?

• Am I creating space for peace, grace, and understanding?

Just like Te Fiti, we all have the ability to return to who we truly are. We can reclaim our peace, extend grace to others, and remember that before politics, before opinions, before disagreements—we are all human first.

So take a deep breath. Protect your peace. Set your boundaries. And remember your heart.

Take a Moment to Reflect

In times of tension, it’s easy to react rather than respond. But true connection comes from self-awareness, accountability, and a willingness to extend grace—to ourselves and to others. As you navigate difficult conversations and moments of frustration, consider these questions:

• How can I extend grace to myself and others when emotions run high, recognizing that we are all navigating stress and uncertainty in our own ways?

  
  

• When I have acted in anger or frustration, how can I take accountability and apologize in a way that fosters healing and understanding?

  
  

• What steps can I take to repair relationships that may have been strained due to heated discussions or misunderstandings?

By reflecting on these questions, we create space for growth, understanding, and stronger relationships—rooted in empathy rather than division.