Getting Out of God's Way: Suffering, Alignment, and Thriving on Your Own Terms

There comes a point in life when we realize we are no longer who we once were. Yet, instead of embracing the evolution, we cling to old versions of ourselves, versions shaped by expectations, fear, and the need for security. We settle for comfort instead of possibilities, and in doing so, we find ourselves misaligned, disconnected from our true essence, riddled with anxiety, and stuck in cycles of resentment.

But what if we got out of God's way?

What if we stopped forcing ourselves into roles we have outgrown and instead aligned our thoughts, feelings, and actions with who we were meant to be? What if we returned to our pre-birth identity, the version of ourselves that existed before the world told us who we had to be?

How We Normalize Dysfunction and Misalignment

Misalignment often doesn’t feel obvious at first because we’ve been conditioned to accept dysfunction as normal. We grow up learning to override our needs, silence our inner voice, and adapt to environments that require us to be someone other than ourselves. Over time, what should feel **wrong** starts to feel familiar, and what should feel **natural** begins to feel foreign.

How We Normalize Misalignment:

1. We Are Taught That Struggle Equals Worthiness

   • Society often glorifies suffering as a requirement for success. If something feels hard, draining, or exhausting, we assume it must be meaningful.

   • We equate **busyness with value** and learn to suppress our exhaustion rather than listen to it.

     
     

2. We Mistake Comfort for Peace

   • Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it’s right for us.

   • We stay in jobs, relationships, and roles that we’ve outgrown because they feel safe, even when they are unfulfilling.

   • Growth feels uncomfortable at first, so we convince ourselves that discomfort means we’re making a mistake rather than evolving.

     
     

3. We Adopt Survival Mechanisms That Keep Us Stagnant

   • Many of us learned early on to prioritize external expectations over internal truth. We play it safe, stay small, and avoid risks.

   • We tolerate mistreatment, dysfunction, and environments that drain us because we don’t believe we have permission to walk away.

     
     

     

     
     

4. We Fear Disrupting the Status Quo

   • Choosing alignment often means making different choices than those around us, which can feel isolating.

   • We stay misaligned to avoid confrontation, judgment, or the discomfort of disappointing others.

     
     

5. We Dismiss Internal Warnings as Overthinking

   • The body and mind send signals when we are out of alignment—persistent anxiety, exhaustion, dread, restlessness—but we dismiss them as “just stress.”

   • Instead of addressing the root cause, we try to numb, distract, or push through it.

Necessary Suffering vs. Misalignment: How to Tell the Difference

Often, we are taught that suffering is part of life, that endurance strengthens faith. But not all suffering is the same. Some suffering refines us, while other suffering depletes us because we are out of alignment.

Necessary suffering is part of growth. It strengthens character, builds patience, and prepares us for our purpose. Think of the discomfort of transitioning into marriage, parenthood, or new responsibilities. These challenges refine us, even though they feel uncomfortable.

Unnecessary suffering comes from staying in spaces God has been nudging us to leave. It manifests as deep exhaustion, resentment, and the sense that we are stuck in cycles of frustration rather than growth.

How to Discern the Difference

Necessary Suffering (Growth & Refinement)	Unnecessary Suffering (Misalignment & Resistance)
Challenges you to grow into a stronger, wiser version of yourself.	Leaves you feeling depleted, stuck, or lost.
Strengthens faith, patience, and resilience.	Creates anxiety, stress, and confusion with no clarity.
Feels uncomfortable but purposeful.	Feels like you are forcing yourself to stay.
Leads to transformation.	Leads to resentment and frustration.
Encourages dependence on God, bringing deeper peace.	Keeps you in a cycle of avoidance and fear.

Where Are You Misaligned?

Misalignment isn’t always obvious, it can disguise itself as responsibility, loyalty, or even success. But deep down, your mind, body, and spirit know when something isn’t right. Pay attention to the signs.

Signs You May Be Out of Alignment:

• You feel mentally and emotionally drained in situations that once energized you.

• You struggle to make decisions, fearing change or disappointing others.

• You feel resentment or frustration toward your commitments, relationships, or daily life.

• Your body manifests stress through headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, or anxiety.

• You suppress your emotions or silence your voice to avoid conflict.

• You stay in places where you are tolerated rather than celebrated.

• You find yourself justifying unhappiness because you believe you “should” stay where you are.

Recognizing misalignment is the first step toward realignment. Your body and emotions aren’t betraying you, they’re guiding you. The next step is to listen.

Moving Toward Alignment: Trusting Yourself Again

Realignment doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of becoming self-aware, making intentional choices, and learning to trust yourself, your instincts, your wisdom, and the voice within that has been drowned out by external expectations.

Steps Toward Alignment:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness Through Reflection and Stillness

   • Set aside intentional time to check in with yourself.

   • Journal, pray, or meditate to uncover where you feel disconnected.

     
     

2. Identify What Needs to Shift and Take the First Step

   • Pinpoint the areas of your life where you feel resistance or dread.

   • Instead of trying to fix everything at once, start with one small, intentional change.

     
     

3. Rebuild and Trust Your Intuition

   • Your gut instinct is God-given, but it must be nurtured.

   • Begin by practicing small acts of self-trust, make decisions that align with your peace.

     
     

4. Surrender to God and Move in Faith

   • Faith requires action, not just intention.

   • Release the need to control outcomes and trust God’s direction.

   • If something is being removed or redirected, believe that it’s for your highest good.

     
     

5. Prioritize Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Wellness

   • Seek support, whether through therapy, mentorship, or a faith-based community.

   • Establish routines that nurture your mind, body, and spirit.

   • Set boundaries that protect your peace and allow for restoration.

     
     

6. Embrace Growth and Release the Old You

   • Let go of past identities, expectations, and attachments that no longer serve you.

   • Understand that discomfort is part of transformation, not a sign of failure.

   • Choose alignment over familiarity, your future requires a different version of you.

   
   

Alignment is not a destination, it’s a continual process of choosing faith over fear, purpose over pressure, and peace over performance.

Living in Alignment: What It Feels Like

When you begin aligning with your purpose, something shifts. Life doesn’t suddenly become effortless, but there is a noticeable difference in how you move through it. You stop striving for approval, forcing what isn’t meant for you, and settling for less than what God has called you to. Instead, you step into a rhythm that feels authentic, purposeful, and deeply fulfilling.

Signs You Are Living in Alignment:

• Inner Peace – Anxiety diminishes because you're no longer at war with yourself. Even in uncertainty, you feel grounded.

  
  

• Flow Instead of Force – Opportunities align, and you no longer feel like you're constantly pushing uphill.

  
  

• Renewed Energy – You feel motivated, inspired, and lighter—less drained by obligations that once felt suffocating.

  
  

• Heightened Intuition – You trust yourself and God’s direction instead of seeking external validation for every decision.

  
  

• Letting Go Feels Right – Releasing what no longer serves you is no longer terrifying—it feels necessary and freeing.

  
  

Alignment is not about perfection. It doesn’t mean life is without struggle. It means you are moving with purpose, trusting your path, and carrying peace within you rather than endlessly chasing it.

When you are aligned, you don’t chase peace. You carry it.

My Reflection: Alignment Is a Necessity

As a therapist, I’ve seen how misalignment fuels burnout, anxiety, and resentment. Many of us were taught to push through exhaustion, prioritize stability over joy, and mistake suffering for strength. But alignment isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

True alignment requires courage. It means letting go of people-pleasing, outdated expectations, and the fear of stepping into the unknown. It means trusting that God didn’t place desires in our hearts just to be ignored.

For my children, I must be different. I must walk differently. I don’t want them to inherit a life of overwork, exhaustion, and proving their worth through suffering. I want them to see a new version of strength, one that includes rest, joy, and alignment.

I don’t want to just check boxes, I want a life that reflects who I was created to be. And that requires choosing faith, purpose, and peace over pressure and performance.

Call to Action: Step Into Alignment

This week, examine where you may be resisting alignment. Are you enduring necessary growth, or clinging to spaces you’ve outgrown?

Take one small step toward realignment, set a boundary, release an obligation, or trust your intuition. Ask yourself: Where do I need to get out of God’s way?

Use the reflection prompts below to guide you:

• What areas of my life feel heavy or draining?

• Where am I confusing suffering with alignment?

• What would I do differently if I fully trusted God?

• Am I making decisions out of faith or fear?

• Where do I need to set a boundary or let go?

• What is one small step I can take this week?

• What would it feel like to live in full alignment?

  
  

Write, pray, and reflect. Your peace is on the other side of alignment, trust the process!