The Village: Preserving Community in a Shifting World

This past weekend, I had the privilege of attending the fourth annual Black Mom’s Miami Valentine’s Day event. It was a beautiful reminder that we can’t do this alone—not motherhood, not business, not life. We all need a village. A community of people who uplift, support, and cheer us on. People who connect us to opportunities, celebrate our wins, and hold us through the harder moments.

One of the most meaningful conversations that arose during the event was about the evolving concept of the village. Historically, the village has been central to the Black community. It represented a web of relationships—family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers—who worked together to nurture, guide, and protect our children. The village was not just about shared responsibility but about shared love and values.

Today, however, many of us are finding it harder to locate or sustain our village. Busy schedules, societal changes, and individualism have created distance where community once thrived. The question we must ask ourselves is this: Is the concept of the village shifting, or is it being erased?

The truth is, the village is still there—but it requires intention and evolution. Our support systems might look different today, but that doesn’t mean they can’t exist.

A Personal Story: How I Found My Village

I don’t have any brothers, so when I became a boy mom, I had no idea what to expect. It’s a unique journey—filled with joy, chaos, and its own challenges. One of my prayers was to find community in this new chapter of motherhood, and that prayer was answered in the most beautiful way.

It started two years ago when one of my son’s friends invited him over for a play date. That simple invitation evolved into something I didn’t even realize I needed: a village. When I met Zhyeir’s mom, NeNe, she welcomed me into her world with open arms. NeNe has been an absolute delight—warm, genuine, and intentional.

NeNe schedules monthly play dates for the boys, and our little group has grown into a tight-knit community of moms. Being a boy mom can be stressful. The energy, the sports, the endless questions—it’s a lot to navigate. But having NeNe and the other moms in our play date group makes the journey so much easier. They’ve become my village, my support system, my safe space. I’m so grateful for the friendships we’ve built and the memories our boys are creating together.

NeNe was an answered prayer, and I’m so thankful for her and the other moms. Their presence reminds me that we’re not meant to do this alone.

Signs You Need a Village

Sometimes, we don’t even realize how much we’re missing a village until we feel overwhelmed. Here are some signs that it may be time to build or strengthen your community:

• You feel emotionally drained and don’t have a safe space to express your feelings or vent.

• You’re constantly overwhelmed by the demands of work, parenting, or daily responsibilities.

• You’re managing everything alone and feel like you don’t have anyone to lean on for practical help or advice.

• You’re disconnected from others and crave deeper, more meaningful relationships.

• You’re struggling to navigate co-parenting, marriage, or business decisions and need trusted guidance.

• You feel isolated in your role—whether as a mother, entrepreneur, or individual.

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If any of these resonate, it may be time to assess the relationships in your life and intentionally cultivate your village.

The Mental Health Benefits of a Village

Having a village isn’t just about convenience—it’s a lifeline for our mental health and well-being.

• For Motherhood - Motherhood can feel isolating, especially when you’re navigating sleepless nights, endless to-do lists, and the emotional labor of raising children. A village provides emotional support, practical help, and a sense of solidarity. It reduces feelings of anxiety, depression, and burnout by reminding mothers they’re not alone in their struggles.

  
  

• For Marriage - The pressures of marriage can weigh heavily when couples try to handle everything on their own. A strong village can offer couples encouragement, advice, and even respite through babysitting or helping with day-to-day tasks. Knowing you have a community rooting for your relationship can strengthen your bond and help you navigate challenges with greater resilience.

  
  

• For Co-Parenting - For single parents, co-parenting can be a unique challenge, often accompanied by stress and overwhelm. A village of supportive family members, friends, and trusted mentors can help fill in the gaps. These individuals can offer guidance, assist with childcare, and provide emotional relief. Having a community to help navigate the complexities of co-parenting reduces isolation and strengthens parents’ capacity to show up for their children.

  
  

• For Business - Entrepreneurship is rewarding, but it can also be lonely. A village of mentors, collaborators, and cheerleaders can be the difference between feeling stuck and thriving. The mental health benefits of having a supportive network include reduced stress, increased confidence, and the motivation to keep pushing forward, even during tough times.

• For Life - Whether you’re navigating grief, a career transition, or a major life decision, a village offers stability and encouragement. Having people who celebrate your victories and hold you through your struggles reduces feelings of isolation and strengthens your emotional health.

  
  

Considerations for Building Your Village

Creating a supportive and sustainable village requires thought and intention. Here are some key considerations:

1. Don’t Overburden One Person - No single person can meet all your needs. You may have a friend who is great for deep emotional conversations, another who is practical and solution-oriented, and someone else who is always ready to celebrate your wins. Diversify your village to avoid overwhelming one person.

   
   

2. Building Trust Takes Time - Strong relationships aren’t built overnight. Be patient, allow connections to grow organically, and remember that trust is earned through consistent actions over time.

   
   

3. Ask Questions and Get to Know People - Before you rely on someone as part of your village, take the time to learn about them. Do you feel safe with them? Are they transparent in their intentions? Do your values align? Building a village means surrounding yourself with people who support and respect you.

   

   Reflect on Shared Values - A strong village is built on mutual respect and shared values. Whether it’s prioritizing your children’s well-being, supporting each other’s dreams, or promoting honesty and integrity, ensure that the people in your village align with what’s most important to you.

   
   

4. Be a Good Villager Yourself - A village is reciprocal. Show up for others in the same way you’d want them to show up for you. Celebrate their wins, offer your help, and be a consistent presence in their lives.

   
   

Who Can Be Your Village?

Reflect on this question: Who are the people in your life that you trust to help guide, nurture, and love your family?

Your village might be smaller than you’d like, and that’s okay. What matters is that it’s filled with people who genuinely care and are willing to show up. And if you feel like you don’t have a village right now, start building one. Look for local groups, connect with other parents at school or events, or lean on extended family members or faith communities.

A Call to Action

Let’s commit to reviving the village. Reach out to someone in your circle today—someone you want to reconnect with or someone you’d like to invite into your village. Ask how they’re doing, offer support, or simply let them know you’re thinking of them.

Let’s create spaces where we can work together, cry together, and celebrate together. Let’s build a community where no one feels alone.

Reflective Question

What does your village look like today, and how can you nurture it or expand it?

We can’t do this alone, but together, we can thrive. Let’s preserve the power of the village, one connection at a time.