The Power of Gratitude and Love: Giving People Their Flowers While They Can Still Smell Them
- Renee Rivers
- Feb 7
- 6 min read
Last night, I attended The Awkward Dinner: Exploring Caribbean Legacy and Identity with South Florida People of Color. Before the event, we walked through the Andrea Chung: Between Too Early and Too Late exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art North Miami. The exhibit, which runs until April 6, is a labor of love—intricate, intentional, and deeply moving.
Walking through the exhibit felt like therapy. It was a reminder of the complexity of identity, the weight of cultural inheritance, and the quiet, often unseen sacrifices of the generations before us. One of the things that stood out to me the most was the way Chung adorned Black women with flowers in her work, almost as if she were reclaiming their womanhood, honoring them, and restoring the beauty that may have been overlooked in their lifetimes. It made me think about how often we wait—wait for the right moment, wait until it's too late—to tell the people in our lives how much they mean to us.
Do The People In Your Life Know How Much You Appreciate Them?
We assume that the people we love know how much we care, but do they? Have you told them? Have you thanked them for the sacrifices they made, the love they gave, the way they showed up for you when you needed them most?
Gratitude doesn’t cost a thing, but when we receive it, it means everything. A simple “I see you. I appreciate you. You matter to me.” can transform someone’s day—maybe even their life.
The Love We Long For
As a first-generation American with family from Haiti, I’ve experienced firsthand how love doesn’t always come in the way we expect. Our parents and elders show love in ways that sometimes feel like backhanded compliments, in critiques wrapped in concern, in lessons taught through silence rather than affirmation.
There’s an entire generation of people still waiting—waiting for their parents to say I love you, waiting to hear I’m proud of you, waiting for the moment their achievements are celebrated instead of simply expected. In many Caribbean and immigrant households, expressions of love were often replaced by the demand for respect. And when you grow up in that environment, it can leave you feeling like love had conditions, like warmth was a privilege rather than a given.
But over time, I’ve realized something important: sometimes, we need to stop focusing on the things we didn’t get. Not because they weren’t important, but because our parents may not have had the capacity to give them.
We exist in a time where we have the space to express our emotions, to talk about mental health, to unpack generational wounds. That is a privilege—a level on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs that they may never have reached. Many of our parents and grandparents were in survival mode, their love shown through sacrifice rather than soft words. And while that doesn’t erase the pain of what we lacked, it does allow us to shift our perspective.
Love Should Be Spoken, Not Just Felt
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. It’s calling your best friend just to say you appreciate them. It’s writing a note to your mentor to thank them for their guidance. It’s celebrating your parents for the sacrifices they made, honoring their struggles and triumphs.
Too often, we wait until funerals to share these words. We give eulogies instead of embraces. We bring bouquets instead of warm conversations. But what if we stopped waiting? What if we started giving people their flowers now—while they’re still here to smell them?
Shifting from Resentment to Gratitude
If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in resentment—resentment for what you didn’t receive, for the ways people failed you—it can be hard to move into gratitude. It’s not about ignoring your pain or pretending everything was okay; it’s about choosing to see the full picture, including the ways love showed up in unexpected or imperfect ways.
Ways to Shift from a Negative Space to Gratitude:
Acknowledge What Hurt, Then Release It Your feelings are valid. You deserved love, affirmation, and celebration. But holding onto resentment won’t change the past. Journaling, therapy, or simply speaking your truth to a trusted person can help you process it and start letting go.
Look for the Love That Was There Even if love didn’t come in the way you wanted, ask yourself: Where did love exist in my story? Did your parents work long hours so you could have opportunities? Did they push you toward education, even if they didn’t always affirm you emotionally? Did they teach you resilience through their own struggles? Finding these moments can help shift your perspective.
Reframe Their Limitations Instead of thinking, They should have done more, try shifting to, They did the best they could with what they had.Many of our elders didn’t grow up in environments where emotional expression was encouraged. Understanding their limitations can help you release unrealistic expectations.
Practice Expressing Gratitude Daily Gratitude isn’t just a mindset; it’s a practice. Start small—write down one thing you’re grateful for each day. It could be something your parents taught you, a lesson from a difficult experience, or even a moment of joy from your childhood.
Give the Love You Wish You Had Received We can break cycles by becoming the kind of person we needed. If you grew up without verbal affirmations, start telling the people in your life how much they mean to you. If you didn’t receive emotional support, be that support for someone else. In giving love, we heal.
Start Giving People Their Flowers Now Don’t wait for a funeral or a milestone to tell someone you appreciate them. Call your loved ones. Write a letter. Tell your elders how their sacrifices shaped you. Show up for your friends and family with intentionality. The more we express gratitude, the more it multiplies.
Ways to Show Gratitude Today
Send a message. A quick text or voice note saying “I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you.”
Write a letter. A handwritten note carries weight. It’s something tangible that someone can hold onto.
Make a gratitude call. Instead of a quick “Hey, what’s up?” take a moment to say, “You’ve made a difference in my life, and I want you to know that.”
Celebrate the small things. You don’t have to wait for a big achievement to acknowledge someone’s value.
Gratitude Creates Ripples
Andrea Chung’s exhibit was more than just an art display—it was a mirror reflecting culture, resilience, and identity. It was a space where I felt deeply connected to my heritage, my community, and the generations of women who came before me. Walking through it was therapeutic. It reminded me that we don’t have to wait until history decides someone is worthy of recognition—we can honor people now.
So today, instead of focusing on what was missing, take a moment to acknowledge what was there.
Tell the people in your life what they mean to you. Call your parents, even if the conversation is awkward. Thank them for what they could give, even if it wasn’t everything you needed. And for those who have poured into you—mentors, friends, elders—let them know that their presence has mattered.
Gratitude doesn’t erase the past, but it does allow us to rewrite how we carry it forward.
Because love and appreciation are meant to be spoken, shared, and felt. And the best time to give someone their flowers? Right now.
Call to Action:
This February, take the time to express your gratitude and appreciation. Don’t wait for a special occasion—send that message, make that call, write that letter. Honor the people in your life who have poured into you, whether through their words, actions, or sacrifices. And if you can, go see Andrea Chung: Between Too Early and Too Late at the Museum of Contemporary Art North Miami. Let it remind you, as it did me, of the importance of giving people their flowers while they can still smell them.
Reflection Question:
As we move through February, who are you giving flowers to—literally or figuratively? And more importantly, how are you going to keep that energy moving forward beyond this month?
Upcoming Event: Seeds of Gratitude: A Transformational Experience
If you're ready to deepen your connection to gratitude and create space for healing, join us for Seeds of Gratitude: A Transformational Experience on February 17, 2025, at 7 PM at CoSpace Miami Gardens. This evening is designed to help you shift your perspective, cultivate gratitude, and build community through guided meditation, sound healing, and meaningful conversations.
Special Guests: Renée Rivers (@reflectiverivers) – Licensed therapist sharing tools to help shift your mindset and embrace gratitude in daily life.
Alexandra Rosa (@thebloomingsunflowerwellness) – Leading a powerful sound healing and meditation session to help deepen your gratitude practice.
This is a space for healing, reflection, and connection, with light bites to nourish both body and soul.
Location: CoSpace Miami Gardens, 17560 NW 27th Ave STE 105, Miami Gardens, FL 33056
🎟 Limited spots available—get your tickets today!
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