Parenting with Purpose: How Your Parenting Style Shapes Your Child’s World

As a therapist who works closely with teens, I often witness firsthand how deeply parenting styles impact children. Tonight was one of those moments that hit me hard, and I felt compelled to share this message: Parents, your approach to parenting matters. It shapes how your children navigate the world, how they see themselves, and how they relate to others.

We often parent in one of two ways: by replicating the style we grew up with or by rebelling against it. Sometimes, these approaches work, but sometimes they don't meet the unique needs of our children. Parenting is a deeply personal journey, but it’s also one that requires us to reflect, learn, and grow continuously.

The Influence of Parenting Styles

Every child is different, and the way you parent one child may not work for another. What worked for you as a child may not resonate with your teen. Similarly, parenting in rebellion against the way you were raised—whether by being more permissive or stricter—can also create challenges if it’s not attuned to your child’s emotional and developmental needs.

It’s easy to get stuck in patterns we’ve inherited or developed as coping mechanisms, but the truth is, parenting isn’t about following a script. It’s about connection, adaptability, and understanding.

What Does Your Child Need?

Each child comes into this world with their own personality, strengths, and challenges. Parenting effectively requires us to meet them where they are, not where we think they should be. This means being open to learning and unlearning.

• Be Curious: Ask yourself, “What does my child need from me right now?”

• Be Open: Be willing to listen and observe without judgment.

• Be Patient: Change takes time—for both you and your child.

Parenting isn’t just about discipline or guidance; it’s about creating a safe space where your child feels seen, heard, and valued.

Breaking the Cycle

If you notice that you’re parenting based on patterns from your own childhood that no longer serve you or your child, know that it’s never too late to change. Healing and transformation start with awareness.

• Reflect on how your upbringing influences your parenting style.

• Consider what you want to carry forward and what you want to leave behind.

• Seek out resources, whether it’s books, parenting classes, or therapy, to help you grow.

Parenting is not about perfection; it’s about showing up consistently and with intention. Mistakes will happen, and that’s okay. What matters most is your willingness to learn and adapt.

A Message for Parents

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent—they need a present one. Someone who is willing to meet them where they are, love them as they are, and grow alongside them.

Tonight reminded me of the power of intentional parenting and the profound impact it can have on a child’s life. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. By reflecting on our own patterns and being open to change, we can raise a generation of emotionally resilient, self-aware, and supported young people.

Let’s start with us.

Reflect: What steps can you take today to parent with purpose and connection?