Dying Bitter or Living Better: The Choice is Yours

Life is full of challenges, disappointments, and heartbreaks. There will always be moments when life feels unfair, when people hurt us, or when we fall short of our own expectations. In those moments, it’s easy to hold on to bitterness—to let the weight of resentment, anger, and regret shape our days. But what if we chose a different path? What if instead of dying bitter, we committed to living better?

The truth is, bitterness is a slow poison. It eats away at joy, peace, and connection. On the other hand, choosing to live better—to heal, forgive, and grow—is a gift we give to ourselves. It’s a decision to live fully, intentionally, and with grace. Here’s how to embrace the journey toward living better.

1. Letting Go of Resentment

Resentment often feels justified. When someone wrongs us or life doesn’t go as planned, bitterness can feel like a shield—a way to protect ourselves from further harm. But in reality, resentment doesn’t hurt the people or circumstances we’re angry with; it only hurts us.

Letting go doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or forgetting the past. It means freeing ourselves from the burden of carrying it. Ask yourself:

• Who or what am I holding resentment toward?

• How is this resentment affecting my life and relationships?

• What would it feel like to release this burden?

Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it is liberating. Start with small steps—a prayer, a journal entry, or even just the willingness to consider letting go.

2. Healing Old Wounds

We all have scars from the past. Some are physical, but many are emotional—the kind we carry quietly. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it begins with acknowledging the pain and seeking support.

Consider:

• Therapy or counseling to work through deep-seated wounds.

• Talking openly with trusted friends or family members.

• Practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace as you heal.

Healing is an act of courage and self-love. It’s a way of reclaiming your story and choosing to live better, not bitter.

3. A Story of Letting Go: The Bitter Baby Mom

Take, for example, a woman who found herself bitter and disappointed in her choice of a father for her child. She was hurt—not just by his actions but also by her own expectations and the reality that didn’t align with her dreams. She carried resentment, replaying old arguments and feeling the weight of her disappointment every day. The bitterness spilled over into her co-parenting relationship, creating tension and stress for everyone involved, especially their child.

One day, she decided she was tired of living this way. She realized that holding on to bitterness wasn’t just affecting her—it was impacting her child’s emotional well-being and her own ability to move forward. She made the brave decision to let go. Through therapy and intentional self-reflection, she focused on building a healthier co-parenting dynamic. She set boundaries, communicated clearly, and prioritized their child’s needs over lingering frustrations.

As she let go of bitterness, she made space for something new. She started investing in her own happiness and self-care. She attracted a new partner who valued her and brought positivity into her life. The shift wasn’t just about finding love; it was about reclaiming her power and choosing to live better, for herself and her child.

What was even more inspiring was how the father of her child began to notice the changes. Seeing her growth and positivity, he took accountability for his own actions and apologized for the hurt he had caused. Motivated by her example, he started working on himself, seeking therapy and making changes to become a better co-parent and father. Together, they created a healthier and more supportive environment for their child. The ripple effect of her decision to let go of bitterness ultimately brought healing and growth to both of them.

Her story is a testament to the freedom that comes when we let go of resentment and choose to focus on growth, healing, and love.

4. Focusing on Gratitude

Bitterness thrives in an environment of scarcity—when we focus on what we don’t have, what we’ve lost, or what went wrong. Gratitude, however, shifts our perspective to abundance. It reminds us of the blessings we still have, even amidst the pain.

Start a daily gratitude practice by:

• Writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.

• Expressing appreciation to the people in your life.

• Focusing on the small joys—a warm cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset, a kind word from a friend.

Gratitude doesn’t erase hardships, but it helps us see the light even in dark times.

5. Choosing Joy

Joy is a choice. It doesn’t mean ignoring life’s struggles; it means finding moments of happiness despite them. Living better means making space for joy, whether through hobbies, relationships, or simple pleasures.

Ask yourself:

• What brings me joy?

• How can I incorporate more of that into my daily life?

• Who makes me feel alive and supported?

Choosing joy is an act of defiance against bitterness. It’s a way of saying, “I will not let the hard parts of life steal my ability to love and laugh.”

6. Building a Legacy of Love

Bitterness can leave a legacy of pain—for ourselves and for those around us. But living better creates a ripple effect of positivity, kindness, and connection. Consider how you want to be remembered:

• As someone who held grudges or as someone who forgave?

• As someone who withdrew or as someone who connected?

• As someone who stayed stuck in pain or as someone who grew through it?

Living better doesn’t just transform your life; it impacts the lives of everyone you touch. It’s about leaving the world better than you found it, even in small ways.

Final Thoughts

Life will always present us with reasons to grow bitter. But every day, we have a choice: to let bitterness define us or to rise above it and choose a path of healing, joy, and love. Living better isn’t easy, but it is worth it.

When you look back on your life, what do you want to see? A heart hardened by pain, or a life full of resilience, gratitude, and growth? The choice is yours—choose to live better.

Reflection Question: What is one step you can take today to let go of bitterness and embrace a better life?