Being Restored: Recognizing Pridefulness and Reclaiming Clarity

In the pursuit of healing, we often find ourselves checking off the boxes of growth: we’ve done the therapy, prayed the prayers, read the books, and journaled the feelings. We’ve sat in our sacred spaces, crying out for restoration, only to feel that something still lingers—a subtle, stubborn cloud over our hearts and minds. That cloud is often pridefulness, and it has a way of disguising itself as righteousness, self-protection, or even progress.

The truth is, pride can quietly seep into our lives, even in the midst of our healing journey. It shows up in our relationships, decision-making, and daily interactions, robbing us of the clarity we need to fully step into restoration.

How Pridefulness Manifests

Pride doesn’t always look like arrogance or boastfulness; it can be much more subtle. It can take the form of:

1. Refusal to Acknowledge Weakness: Pride whispers, “I’ve done the work. I shouldn’t be struggling with this anymore.” It convinces us that admitting we’re still in process means our past efforts were in vain. We forget that restoration is a journey, not a destination.

   
   

2. Overprotecting Our Image: We’ve worked hard to build ourselves back up, and pride tells us to keep it together, to maintain the appearance of being “healed.” This prevents us from admitting when we’re overwhelmed, anxious, or falling short.

   
   

3. Difficulty Receiving Feedback: Whether it’s constructive criticism at work or a gentle nudge from a loved one, pride subtly makes us defensive. It tells us that feedback threatens our worth or diminishes the progress we’ve made.

   
   

4. The Need to Control Outcomes: Pride quietly convinces us that our way might be the best way. It tells us that trusting others—or even trusting God—with the unknown is too risky. Instead, we overanalyze, micromanage, and exhaust ourselves trying to control every detail.

   
   

5. Avoidance of Vulnerability: Pride says, “I don’t need help,” when in reality, we’re drowning. It convinces us that being vulnerable is a weakness rather than a pathway to connection and restoration.

The Cost of Pridefulness

Pride clouds our perspective. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of self-reliance and isolation, making it harder to see the people and opportunities that God places in our lives to help us grow. It prevents us from fully embracing grace—the kind that allows us to be human, flawed, and still deeply loved.

Left unchecked, pride can delay our restoration. Instead of moving forward, we find ourselves circling the same mountains, wondering why the peace and clarity we’ve prayed for feel out of reach.

Steps Toward Humility and Restoration

Recognizing pride is not about shame or self-condemnation; it’s about awareness and intentional action. Here are a few ways to begin addressing pridefulness and stepping into true restoration:

1. Embrace Self-Reflection: Take time to honestly evaluate how pride shows up in your life. Are you resistant to asking for help? Are you quick to judge others while excusing your own actions? Be willing to confront these patterns without judgment.

   
   

2. Practice Vulnerability: Restoration requires connection, and connection requires vulnerability. Start small by sharing your struggles with a trusted friend or mentor. Let them remind you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.

   
   

3. Release the Need for Perfection: Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again. Give yourself permission to grow in stages, knowing that God’s grace is sufficient for every misstep.

   
   

4. Seek Feedback with Openness: Instead of viewing feedback as criticism, see it as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” rather than, “How does this make me look?”

   
   

5. Surrender Control: Restoration often requires letting go of the need to have all the answers. Trust that God’s plans for you are greater than what you can see or control. Let go, and allow space for divine intervention.

   
   

6. Focus on Gratitude: Pride feeds on what we lack or what we think we deserve. Gratitude shifts our focus to what we already have and reminds us of God’s faithfulness in our lives.

   
   

When Pride Took a Backseat: Meeting Cherlise

It’s funny how some encounters catch you completely off guard, and not because of the circumstances, but because of how you respond to them. That’s exactly how I felt the day I met Cherlise, a new friend. Under normal conditions, the situation would have been ripe for pride to rear its head, urging me to stay guarded, keep it surface-level, and protect my vulnerabilities. But something was different about this encounter, and instead of leading with pride, I felt an unexplainable nudge to just… let go.

From the moment I met her, Cherlise carried this presence—warm, inviting, safe. But even so, the first few minutes of conversation could have easily gone differently. Normally, I’d feel the need to hold back, to keep my guard up, and carefully choose what I shared. After all, pride tells us to maintain control, to present only the polished version of ourselves. But that day, something shifted.

As we started talking, I could feel my usual walls beginning to crumble. At first, it was small talk, but within minutes, the conversation went deeper than I had anticipated. I began sharing about my marriage—a topic I almost never discuss openly because I’m so protective of it. I talked about the struggles I’ve faced navigating my relationship with my mother-in-law and even touched on some past wounds I thought I’d locked away for good. Normally, pride would have told me to keep quiet, to present an image of strength and composure. But with Cherlise, there was no need for pretense.

She listened without judgment, her words full of empathy and wisdom. And then, she began to affirm me—not from a place of empty encouragement, but from a God-centered perspective that felt like a balm to my soul. She didn’t just hear me; she understood me in a way that I didn’t even know I needed. In that moment, I realized how much pride had been holding me back, convincing me that vulnerability was dangerous or unnecessary.

Cherline didn’t just affirm me—she facilitated a shift in my heart. She reframed my struggles in ways that pointed me back to God’s truth and helped me see the areas where pride had clouded my perspective. Then, she prayed with me, and in that moment, I felt something break. It was as if the weight I’d been carrying—the fear of being misunderstood, the prideful need to appear strong—began to lift.

This encounter wasn’t just about meeting Cherlise. It was about what happens when we set aside pride and trust that God sometimes works through the people He places in our lives. Cherlise was that person for me in that moment—a reflection of His grace and love.

The Beauty of Being Restored

Restoration is not a singular event; it’s a continual process of being refined, humbled, and renewed. Recognizing pride in our lives is not a sign of failure—it’s an invitation to go deeper, to release what no longer serves us, and to fully embrace the grace that has been waiting for us all along.

When we let go of pride, we create space for clarity, connection, and authentic growth. We allow ourselves to be human—messy, flawed, and deeply loved. And in doing so, we step closer to the restoration we’ve been seeking all along.

Reflection

Think about the moments in your life where pride has kept you guarded. What might change if you allowed yourself to lean into vulnerability? Is there someone God has placed in your life who feels safe, like Cherlise did for me?

Take a moment to reflect on how pride might be holding you back from deeper connections and greater clarity. Perhaps today is the day to take that step of faith and trust that God’s love can work through the people around you.